The longer that I walk with the Lord and strive to make him the center of my life the more I realize that there is both a natural and a supernatural way to live. The natural way of living is a life controlled by emotions and circumstances which says if things are going well I'm happy and if they aren't I'm not. However, the supernatural way of living enables us to live above the ups and downs in life and maintain our peace and joy no matter what is going on around us.
Just recently, I went through a very difficult situation. After 12 weeks of pregnancy I miscarried my baby. I was of course so disappointed to lose my child and it was not a pleasant experience to say the least, but because of my relationship with the Lord and his manifested presence that day, I can honestly say that I was able to rejoice. It was truly a supernatural experience. It was as if the Holy Spirit posessed my soul that day. Rather than grief and mourning, I felt at peace and was able to delight in God's goodness.
I actually spent the day in the sweet presence of the Holy Spirit, who constantly was reassuring me of God's great plan for my life and how much He had already brought me through. This may sound strange, but there was a peace and joy in my soul that day unlike I've ever felt before. As I just rested in his presence it was truly amazing.
After this experience, I can finally understand how Paul and Silas could sing praises to the Lord when they were in prison (Acts 16:25). There is a special grace available to us when we are going through trials. If we will simply go before the Lord and receive it, the supernatural presence of God will cause a song of praise to rise in our hearts and he will minister to us in a way that will bring comfort and joy.
As I spent time with the Lord that day it was as though he lifted me out of time and helped me reflect on my life as a whole. It was like my life was a book with many chapters. The early chapters of the book were mostly sad. They covered my childhood and years of bondage to alcohol, unhealthy relationships and depression. However, the middle chapters were full of miracles and the supernatural power of God. Then I could see the chapter I was currently in. This miscarriage, although not positive, was not something that I needed to let defeat me. There was too much remaining in my book to look forward to. I had a lot of chapters left and everything that I desire for my life, including additional children, is in there. Furthermore, the end of the book is wonderful. My life actually ends with me spending eternity with the love of my life, Jesus Christ.
What a story! How could I be depressed with glorious future like that? As I focused on what the Lord has done for me that day, grief and sorrow couldn't hold me. God has been so faithful and gracious to me. I am truly a blessed woman. I have so much to be thankful for and honestly I love the life the Lord has given me. I have the most wonderful husband and daughter in the world and am getting the opportunity to pursue the dreams that God has placed in my heart. When I look at the big picture and focus on the goodness of God how can I be sad? I truly trust him with my life and know that he is working all things out for my highest good.
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